Nothing Short of Suicide
by Bacon Yu A Pie
Summary: Sending him here, back to conscious life was murder. But it was really he who chose to come back, they didn’t force him out. So in reality, it was really nothing short of suicide. Takes place right after scorpia.


_'Mom, dad, you're…' it was all he could manage before breaking down and crying. His mother bent down over him, with a wistful smile on her face, she pulled him into her warm embrace. Finally, he settled down._

_His mother looked into his eyes, sighing sadly at the appearance of tranquility. Yet, lurking in the depth, she knew that he had his doubts about if or if not it was all, **this** was all real._

'_Mom? Dad? Is that really you?' Alex had never heard this strange voice that came out of his mouth. Well, of course he knew it was his, but he had never heard it filled with, with, whatever it was. It made him feel shy, and timid, yet guilty too. Like he was depending on someone he didn't want to be. Actually, the thought of having to depend on someone too much made him cold and clammy all over._

'_Yes, honey, it's us.' By this time, John and Helen Rider had stood up, holding each other and looking down at him lovingly. _

_John Rider had died, when his son was only an infant. Throughout Alex's childhood, his parents had always looked out for him, watching, and their hearts were filled up to the brim with pride for their young boy, no, man. Inwardly shaking his head to himself, John though about how much his son had to see at such a young age. Really, the moment he saw that five year old figure waddle up to his brother, Ian, ask him in shaky voice, 'Wair's my mommy and daddy?' that all his innocence would be stripped away. He watched his only child grow up with a total number of friends that he could count on one hand. He was one of the only boys left at school on bring your child to work day, because he knew that bringing Alex with Ian to his office would be totally unacceptable. _

_He watched his boy close himself off to the world, allowing only the absolutely needed amount of light in through a tiny crack. So much of him wanted to embrace his child, but he held himself back, knowing that if he did, never would he be able to give him the news._

'_Alex' John swallowed the lump in his throat as he saw the smiling face beam up at him. Really, it was the first time he had seen him smile in a long, long time. Telling him this would be just about the hardest thing of his life. 'Alex, I-you -'._

'_Yes?' his face was filled with so much emotion, that John had to turn away, muttering the words._

'_You can't stay here, you have to go back. You're life's not meant to end here.' Daring just the tiniest peek at his son, he saw a grief stricken face._

'_But-but, no. You can't just say that. No! You-… mom?' the boy turned his head slightly, eyes boring holes in Helen's eyes. Seeing the pain and horror building up in his eyes, she couldn't stand to look. _

_Looking down as the tears she held back started to roll freely, she only just nodded her head._

_There was silence for a long time. No sound was made, and the parents looked up, shocked at the change of facial features. The once soft and loving expression turned hard and cold. Alex held his body stiff and tall. John knew that he had excepted the fact, and was taking it like a man, yet, he knew the look on his son's face wasn't the one that should be on a boy in his teens. The look suited, well, Alan Blunt, not this person here, standing in front of them. But he knew that this look was caused by them. His wife and him had made the love flee from his face. Alex's whole body just shouted calm and collected, but he knew that Alex was suffering. His eyes were overflowing with anger, confusion, and longing._

'_Fine, I see that I am not wanted here with my father and mother, so I will leave.' They stared at his retreating back for some time before Helen spoke,_

'_I'M SORRY!' her voice cracked as she murmured something off toward the retreating figure._

OoOoOoOo

It had been two weeks since he came back. They told him that he had been in a coma for about a week. They told him that they were glad he was back.

Back where? Back to earth? Back to reality? Back to a life of hell? Sending him here, back to conscious life was murder. But it was really he who chose to come back, they didn't force him out. So in reality, it was really nothing short of suicide.

He was released from the hospital because they truly had no reason to hold him there. Physically, he was fine, just a few scratches and bruises that would be healed on their own time. Physically, he was fine, my mentally, know that was another story. They had offered for him to see a shrink many times over, but each time he would answer with the same cold, but polite reply.

As the days passed, he realized what had filled his voice during the first few moments of the meeting with his parents. Hope. It was hope that had enfolded his mind, hope that they would love him, hope that they would accept them, even though so very few had. He realized that that was why he joined SCORPIA. It was a hope that he would be not just a tool, but a human being with actual feelings, toward someone. But no, they had rejected him, as so many before had. Really, if he were in their position, wouldn't he have done the same? He was nothing. He had no purpose, no real skills, nothing. He was a nobody. He was the exact thing that he had fought so hard against. Yet, in the back of his mind, there was that little voice, begging for attention that reminded him of his mother's last words.

_We love you._

* * *

Wow, i just wrote this in a half an hour. Sorry if there are any mistakes in there, i hate re-reading this stuff and editing it. If anyone wants to be a beta-reader for some of my stuff, i'd really appreaciate it. Though i don't update my stuff that much. If you're interested, e-mail me. Also, tell me what category you would like to read, like harry potter, alex rider, ella enchanted, yeah. R&R please!


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